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Urban Legend (1998)
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Today, I picked up my remote and flipped on the USA Network, which recently abandoned it’s old motto of: “All Wings, all the time.” In fact, USA has been putting out some pretty decent stuff lately. And by “pretty decent stuff,” I mean Monk, starring Tony Shaloub, one of Hollywood’s most underrated actors.
Coincidently, Shaloub starred in Wings as cab driver Antonio Scarpacci.
The circle is complete.
But I didn’t get to see Monk, or even Wings.No, instead I got to see that little slice of hell, the last five minutes of Urban Legend. Some would say that the last five minutes are all you need to see of a film like Urban Legend. Those people would be wrong. The correct answer is that you don’t need to see any of this turd-burger. Here, I’ll help:
Rebecca Gayheart did it.
She was mad because the other chick stole her boyfriend or used all her Noxema or something. Perhaps if I saw the rest of the movie it would make more sense–but I doubt it.
There are some people that will claim that I’ve done something bad here, that I “ruined” the movie. I maintain that it is impossible to “ruin” Urban Legend. In order to ruin something, you actually have to make it worse than it was before, and I don’t think that’s possible with Urban Legend.
I wasted five minutes of my life on Urban Legend, so that you don’t have to waste two hours of yours.
You can thank me later.
God bless.
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