moshood the magnificent
Editor’s note: If you have not read the previous adventures of moshood and me, please take time to do so now. I’m not guaranteeing this will make any sense, otherwise.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our busy lives, that we forget the people that make life worth living. People like my good friend Moshood. Moshood, the son of a bloody dictator, is still desperately trying to move $60 million out of Africa. He is even willing to pay me $12 million to help, although I keep botching the deal somehow.
My perseverance has paid off though, as Moshood evidently has uncovered additional millions of dollars. Let’s join the action.
Note: Since moshood has stubburnly refused to give me a picture, I used my imagination.
From: moshood abacha
Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2003 10:50 AM
To: John Q. Public
Subject: Waiting for your Positive response Sir!!!
Hello Mr Public,
Top of the year to you and the Family. Long time I have not heard from you. Hope you are fine and in good health?
Well I just wanted to know if you are still willing to help me complete this transaction? please I really need to hear from you,all this time I did not contact you, I was looking for another means to complete this Transaction, as a matter of Fact I have just been told that I have more Funds In Togo left behind in a Security Vault In Ghana. Please I will be waiting for your Urgent response,
Thank you and Allah help Us.
For the family.
I read this and realized that I have been neglectful. There must be some way I can help poor Moshood and her Excellency his mother loot the Nigerian treasury. After all, we are evidently “brothers.”
From: John Q. Public
Sent: Friday, September 05, 2003 12:38 PM
To: moshood abacha
Subject: Re: Waiting for your Positive response Sir!!!
It is so good to hear from you. I apologize for my lack of communication. Pepe and I only recently returned from a tour of the Middle East. Kathie Lee was asked to do another of her famous USO shows to entertain the troops in Iraq.
The work in Iraq was grueling. Not only did Kathie Lee sing, but Kathie Lee, Pepe and I were pressed into service in the mess hall.
I don’t know how Kathie Lee does it! Pepe and I were exhausted after just a few hours, but Kathie Lee was able to service hundreds and hundreds of soldiers every night. Maybe even thousands!
After serving just a fraction of those soldiers, my stamina gave out. I woke up the next morning and my knees were killing me. Poor Pepe could barely sit down he was so sore! But the look on those brave men’s faces after we were through made it all worthwhile.
We also stopped by Saudi Arabia to unveil Kathie Lee’s new line of natural-fiber, camel-hair burkas. They come with built in pantyhose with a reinforced toe. We’re calling it our “Camel-Toe Collection©”. Kathie Lee modeled it herself at the Saudi fashion expo, and there was a line of buyers around the block, all of them eager to see Kahtie Lee’s Camel-Toe.
But enough about me. Let’s talk about your situation. You’ve uncovered additional funds in Togo? Or is it in Ghana? I am a little confused on this part. The details of our original arrangement are getting a little sketchy in my mind, and I thought those were two different countries.
Perhaps I’ve gotten the geography wrong. I played in a charity polo tournament in Burkina Faso around five years ago, that’s as close as I’ve come to Togo. We were investigating lead mines outside of Ouagadougou for Kathie Lee’s new line of finger paint. It’s part of the “Cody the QT©” collection.
So do we need to come to Nigeria? Or is there a way we can complete the transaction by e-mail or fax?
In either case, I would appreciate a photo so that I could match a face to your name. I’m including a picture of Kathie Lee and myself, so you can see what we look like, as well as a picture of Kathie Lee’s children, Cody and Cassidy, because it is now corporate policy that we include a picture of them with every e-mail.
I hope your mother is in good health? Pepe send his love. I look forward to your response.
Yours in Christ,
Kathie Lee Gifford Enterprises, Inc.
Hopefully Moshood will take me up on my offer of support.
moshood and me
moshood 2: electric bugaloo
move over moshood
moshood: the return
a very moshood thanksgiving
moshood the magnificent