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Interview: Mary Carey

Mary Carey for Governor

Until now, Badmouth as an entity has remained strictly non-political. Whatever my personal politics are, the site has remained fiercely independent. But as of now, all that is going to change. As of today, Badmouth is throwing its considerable political clout behind porn star Mary Carey as she makes her historic run for the California governorship. Why are we doing this? Let’s face it. We’re screwed no matter who wins this recall election. And if I’m going to be screwed, I’d prefer it was done by a professional.

Carey held her first press event this morning at a bar in downtown Sacramento. Badmouth was there:

Q. How did being a porn star prepare you to run for governor?

A. My profession has taught me to be a strong person. I think that to be a politician, you need to be a strong person, because people are going to say mean things about you. The media uses you to their advantage. Right now, I’m always “the color” to the news pieces; the teaser to keep people to watch until 10:29 so they “don’t switch that channel.”

So the adult industry has taught me to be used to that, because sometimes people in the adult industry media are not always nice. I’m also used to being in front of the camera and talking. In my movie Mary Carey Rules, I do a lot of talking. It’s kind of like giving speeches.

Also in doing the movies I’ve done, I’m a very positive person. And the movies I’ve done have prepared me to be a very positive person. I think those are all ways that I’ve been prepared to run for office.

Q. How will you compete with the money and name-recognition of someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger?

A. If you donate $5,000 towards the campaign, you get to go on dinner date with me; a one-on-one date where we’ll talk and discuss all my platforms and I’ll listen to all your ideas. You can be anywhere in the world to contribute to this campaign fund and to go on the dinner date. You can either come to California or I’ll go to where you are, and we’ll go on a fun dinner date.

Marey Carey
It will be kinda like what President Bush does, but it’s a lot cheaper. He charges $25,000 a person. I’m just charging $5,000. It will be tons of fun. I promise that—and very educational.

And you can go to marycareyforgovernor.com to learn all about donating money to my campaign fund, ’cause I need to compete with Arnold. He’s got $850 million. I don’t have that much money. So I need to get some money to so I can start hiring all these people that he’s hiring. Anyone can go get the best of the best together and just say what they say.

That’s what I need. I need money so I can get my people together, so I can just recite what they say, instead of having to be so creative and coming up with my own ideas like I’ve been doing. This is really hard work. You know, most politicians don’t come up with their own ideas.

That’s one edge that I have on everyone; that I’m actually thinking and coming up with my own stuff. Arnie got Warren Buffet to do his thinking. Like I said, donate to my fund so I can get Jimmy Buffet to help me. (laughs)

Q. What are your major platforms?

Mary Carey
A. My major platforms right now are to lower the car tax and put a tax on breast implants instead, ’cause that’s a luxury tax. We don’t need to be taxing cars. We should be taxing plastic surgery; things that aren’t necessary; things that people are getting with extra money just lying around.

Also I want to put live, streaming Web cams in the Governor’s Mansion. By doing this, we will be generating income from all over the world. Reality TV is so popular. So if we had a reality Web site where people can see what’s going on 24 hours a day in the Governor’s Mansion, then more people would be donating money to our state.

If we had 500,000 people even—and that’s nothing—from over the world pay $20 a month to see what’s going on 24-hours-a-day, that’s $10 million dollars right there. The deficit would be gone in a year.

Well, maybe not.

But I guarantee you I’d have more than 500,000 members. In fact, even if I don’t win. Even if Bustamante wins, let’s have some Web cams in there. He might not allow them in the bedroom and the shower, but the kitchen and the meeting rooms and everything, right?

Also, I want to legalize gay marriage, because that would increase tourism in the state of California by having people come here to get married and have their honeymoons here. We have so many beautiful places. We would basically increase tourism, and by increasing tourism we’d be generating more revenue for the state—lowering that evil deficit.

That is horrible. I didn’t like how Gray Davis lied to the people about it. I will never lie. Everything I’ve done is out in the open. It’s not like you’re going to come up in a few years and say, “Gosh, she’s made a pornographic movie!” I’m very open.

I’ve made 30.

Q. Why should people take your campaign seriously?

A. Because I have very serious platforms. You evil media people have been taking one line of what I say, such as “Here’s Mary Carey the porn star who wants to tax breast implants.”

Yeah, that does sound silly. But now I’m getting a chance to explain why I want to do all these things. I’m getting a chance to explain to people that there’s actually good reasoning behind it. Lowering the car tax and taxing something like plastic surgery makes a lot more sense in my opinion. I think people will realize that.

Mary Carey
The campaign has just only begun. I think a lot of interesting things are going to come out about all the candidates that are running. I’m not too worried. I think I’ll do fine. I have a couple more weeks to get out there. I’m not as well known as Arnold Schwarzenegger. I haven’t been in The Terminator. I’ve been in movies like Mary Carey Rules which aren’t everywhere. So people are still learning about me. Once people learn about me and see how smart I am and how happy I am, I’m going to kick a little Terminator ass.

Q. What’s your favorite slogan?

A. This is such a tough one. I have so many slogans. I really like “We had Brown. We tried Gray. Now it’s time for a little blonde,” because it’s very true. We need a little blonde in there.

I’m more fun and exciting. And I’m also better qualified for the job ’cause I’m honest. I’m being honest. Excuse me but being a politician—no politician is honest. They don’t really know what they’re doing. They just listen to their advisors. Get me a group of advisors, and I’ll just say the truth. And then you’ll be happy, and I’ll always jump up and down.

My jumping up and down will generate more media interest, and more people will watch and listen to my speeches. Wouldn’t you watch more if Gray Davis could do this (Jiggles chest. Crowd roars.) Vote for me! Vote for me!

my gubernatorial platform

The most important issue facing California right now is our $38 billion deficit and 6.7% unemployment rate. California needs a governor who will get our finances in order! As a “political outsider,” I have fresh, original ideas for helping the state generate revenue and reduce its deficit. Here are just some of them:

1. Legalize gay marriage in California. This will generate a tremendous amount of revenue for the state as a honeymoon destination.

2. Tax breast implants. From Beverly Hills alone, we should bring in millions in tax revenue. (Note: I am all-natural and I personally discourage the use of implants!)

3. Make lap dances a tax deductible business expense. This will help grease the wheels of business in California and stimulate our economy.

4. If I’m elected Governor, I will wire the Governor’s Mansion with live web cams in every room. We will create a pay site, and all money collected will go toward reducing the deficit. Californians will get to see their government in action – literally! (Also, we will have people from around the globe helping to pay off our debt, so it doesn’t all fall on the shoulders of Californians.)

5. I will create a “Porn for Pistols” program to take handguns off the streets. Dealing with the violence and injuries associated with handguns is a huge drain on our state’s resources.

6. As Governor, I will recruit fellow performers from the adult video industry as ambassadors of good will. These ambassadors will be a great help to California when it comes to such things as negotiating rates for buying electricity from neighboring states.

7. I will coordinate the state’s unemployment and jury systems, so that anyone who applies for unemployment will instantly be called for jury duty. This will save California state and local governments millions of dollars, because we won’t have to pay for jury duty. It will also relieve those with jobs from the stress of serving on lengthy juries.

8. I will fight the federal government’s attempts to harass the adult video industry. Adult video is an $11 billion industry that creates more than $23 million in taxes each year for the state of California. We can’t afford to lose this tax base!

Courtesy of marycareyforgovernor.com